Your life is probably way different now; you probably take less naps and you may have seen more Woody Allen movies. I hope that you have cut that unsightly haircut. Seriously, do it. You don”t need any strategies to not drink because no one invites you to parties anyway, you unsocial loser. Words of advice: Keep having no friends and you won’t need to worry about alcohol.
-My letter to my future self for alcohol education